(I know he's blood but you can still turn him away
you don't owe him anything)
do you go to the dungeon
to find out how to make peace with your days in the dungeon
writing a letter to you didn't make me feel any more peaceful
than how I felt when we weren't speaking
because I didn't cop to what I did.
I can't love you because we're supposed
to have professional boundaries.
I'd like you to be schooled and in awe
as though you were kissed by god full on the lips.
I'm in the front row the front row with popcorn
I get to see you see you close up
(I'm too tired to recount the unpleasantries one by one
one minute I want to banish you
the next I want to be on a deserted island with you
with my three favorite cd's.
ambivalent in your bed we've yet to acknowledge
what really happened)
Slid into the ditch I have this overwhelming loss of amibition
we said let's name thirty good reasons why we shouldn't be together
I started by saying things like you smoke you live in new jersey
(too far)
you started saying things like you belong to the world
all of which could have been easily refuted
but the conversation was hypothetical
I am totally short of breath for you
why can't you shut your stuff off…
I'm in the front row the front row with popcorn
I get to see you see you close up
and I laughed until my lungs hurt
I love how you bust my chops
You don't always feel seen
Sometimes you feel erasable
unfortunately I cannot reciprocate in my current state
I think we should be careful of how much time we spend together
…..for a while while I'm speaking
you know how much you hate to be interrupted
maybe spend some time alone
fill up your proverbial cup so
that it doesn't always about you
I've been wanting your undivided attention I like the fact that you're nothing like me
Are you not burdened by the lack of perspective people
have of your charmed life (seemingly)?
I'm in the front row the front row with popcorn
I get to see you see you close up
you never meant to be ungrateful
nor held up to be or wept
for certainly not analysed
prodded at more ways than one apparently you've been misrepresented
dealing with the concept of arrows being slung towards
your outrageous fortune
Hey I'm not mad at you guardian
I'm mad at myself for spending so much time with you and your jeckyl and hydeness1
I'm glad I figuratively slapped you on the wrist
you laughed a wicked laugh and said
come here let me clip your wings!
(I know he's blood but you can still turn him away
you don't own him anything)
raise the roof he yelled yeah raise the roof! I yelled back.
(Unfortunately you needed a health scare to reprioritize.)
No thanks to the soap box
Having my rile against them won't make an ounce of difference…
I'm in the front row the front row with popcorn
I get to see you see you close up
Oh the things I've done for you
many a sitch a friend a man's been left for you
oh the books i've read for you
the tongues i've bitten for you many a new city for you
for you many a risk taken for you (not a single regret)