Always tell the voter what the voter wants to hear.
Welcome to Never Mind the Ballots. The phone lines are now open. If you'd like to put a question to the candidates the number to ring is 0532779463.
You want jobs? I've got jobs!
Hospitals? Top of my list!
Tax cuts and platform shoes…
…for every small businessman!
Just give me your vote!
Just give me your vote!
Schools, prisons? Of course we'll build them!
Condoms for the American GI's!
Nuclear reactors breed like rabbits.
Police oppression? You can have it, sir!
Just give me your vote!
Put your cross in the box!
Hello, we've got our first caller. You're name's Martin. Hello, Martin! You disagree with our statement policy.
Well, Martin, to tell you the truth I couldn't agree with you more. It's outrageous, disgusting, but unlike my colleague on my right, we're the party who say what we do, do what we say. You can bank on us Mart!
Good evening, Shirley. I'm so glad that you've rung. The matter is as dear to me as it is to you. Give me four years and I'll get right down to it. Because unlike my little balding colleague on my left, we don't make promises we can't keep.
You still there, Martin? Just one more thing.
Give us your vote!
You want houses? See me afterwards!
Want my autograph? See my bodyguard!
Pre-election budget handouts.
You want a war? No problem!
Just give me your vote!
Just give me your vote!