Текст песни College Humor — I'm not afraid — Parody

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Yeah! It’s been a ride
And I had to go through some pretty scary stuff to get where I am today
And once you face your demons there ain’t nothing that can scare you
Well maybe one two things

Like did you read about that one guy who got buried alive?
They went and put him in the ground without checking if he had died
I’m not afraid to stand up here and speak what’s on my ******* mind
And holy crap can you imagine waking up in a coffin confined
But I digress this song is for me so **** the world
Except for bees ah oh I have this thing about needles
I always feel that I’ll keep bleeding it will truly be the end of me
And that’s the way I feel when I look straight down from a balcony
No ifs ands or buts I’m not afraid of you all knowing me
But when I was 5 I saw ET and now aliens scare me
Also spiders and centipedes are ******* creepy
What if they lay eggs inside of me and bugs start crawling out of me
But what I should have said first is bats are my curse and their ears and their fangs
But the point of all this is I’ve been through the worst
But seriously is it just me or are clowns
The scariest thing in the whole ******* universe

I’m not afraid to take a stand
Just as soon as I wash my hands
We’ll walk this road together through the storm
But if there’s thunder I’ll be gone
Just let you know that you’re not alone
Just promise me that we’ll stay clear of volcanoes

Yah see I’ve been through so many dark times
I lost track but I never gone through the dark in my basement
That’s too dark and there’s rats
Can’t stand those things
Gnashing tiny teeth don’t laugh
Add a set of wings and they’re as bad as bats
To my fans I’ll never let you down again I’m back
Oh man did I mention attics
I hate attics I’m not melodramatic
It’s just dark spaces make me go ehh
Also walking over those grates in the ground
Relax I ain’t gone stop and freak out
As long as I stay away from large crowds and riptides where I could drown
Oh yah planes are off limits
Cause I don’t know how they get up or back down
So crap is just too scary to think about
What if a shark came on land and started walking
It’s so real ******* weird
They just follow you around
Oh man I didn’t even think about cheetahs
Those mother ******* could run a running shark down

I’m not afraid to take a stand
Just check your boots for scorpions
We’ll bring this world together me and you
But no snakes or ghosts or we’re through
Just let you know that you’re not alone
But if I see a ghost snake you’re on your own
But I just can’t keep living this way
So starting today I’m done being afraid
I’m starting up myself a support group
I’m gonna have it ¿noses? done
Get a therapist join a mailing list
Can’t stop my life like this right now

I am afraid don’t give a damn
Please somebody just take my hand
With all those in the struggles
I did just fine but in the real world I’m terrified
So get me out of this ******* hole
From now on I’ll shoot all my videos at home

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