Take the National Express
When your life's in a mess
It'll make you smile
All human life is here
From the feeble old dear
To the screaming child
From the student who knows
That to have one of those
Would be suicide
To the family man
Manhandling the pram
With paternal pride
And everybody sings 'ba ba ba da'
We're going where the air is free
On the National Express
There's a jolly hostess
Selling crisps and tea
She'll provide you with drinks
And theatrical winks
For a sky-high fee
Mini-skirts were in style
When she danced down the aisle
Back in '63
But it's hard to get by
When your arse is the size
Of a small country
And everybody sings 'ba ba ba da'
We're going where the air is free
Tomorrow belongs to me
When you're sad and feeling blue
With nothing better to do
Don't just sit there feeling stressed
Take a trip on the National Express
On the National Express
Let's go!