Lemme tell you a little story
About a man named Johnny Tarr
He was a hard drinking son of a preacher
Always at the bar
Lager from the tap
Or shots of Paddy from the shelf
He could open his throttle and throw back a bottle
As quick as the Devil himself, Johnny Tarr
And the word got around
That Johnny Tarr was no pretender
From Claire to here they'd lock up the beer
When Johnny went on a bender
Down at Dickey Mack's
The Rising Sun, or at the Swan
He was drinking at seven, by ten to eleven
Well, all the booze would be gone, Johnny Tarr
And even if you saw it yourself,
You wouldn't believe it
But I wouldn't trust a person like me, if I were you
Sure I wasn't there, I swear
I have an alibi
I heard it from a man who knows a fella
Who says it's true
It was nine in the morning
On a cold and rainy night
Johnny walked into the Castle Bar
Looking to get tight
He had money in his pocket
He had whiskey in his eye
He said, «Get up off your asses
And set up the glasses
I'm drinking this place dry»
Now all the serious boozers
They were soon broken hearted
When Johnny finished off six
And he was only getting started
Guzzling down the pints
And knockin' em back like candy
He was lookin' alright to be drinkin' all night
Then Nora brought out the brandy, Johnny Tarr
And even if you saw it yourself,
You wouldn't believe it
But I wouldn't trust a person like me, if I were you
Sure I wasn't there, I swear
I have an alibi
I heard it from a man who knows a fella
Who says it's true
Johnny drank the whole damn bottle
Had another pint or two
When it made no impression he started a session
With Murphy's Millennium Brew
He was waiting for his pint
When his face turned green
Jesus, Johnny fell down
After only fifteen
And you could've heard a pin drop
Then the crowd let out a roar
It took five Cork women
To lift Johnny off the floor
The doctor looked him over
And said, «Better call the hearse
But it's not what you're thinkin' it wasn't the drinkin'
This man died of thirst» Johnny Tarr
And even if you saw it yourself,
You wouldn't believe it
But I wouldn't trust a person like me, if I were you
Sure I wasn't there, I swear
I have an alibi
I heard it from a man who knows a fella
Who says it's true
And even if you saw it yourself,
You wouldn't believe it
But I wouldn't trust a person like me, if I were you
Sure I wasn't there, I swear
I have an alibi
I heard it from a man who knows a fella
Who says it's true