It was cold, it was rainy, a cold rainy day.
Though we lawyers love golf, it was too wet to play.
Then I looked and I saw him step in on the mat.
He was looking for counsel. We had a brief chat.
Did you take this person's life?
Did you do it with a knife?
Did you do this dreadful crime?
Did you do it anytime?
I did not do this dreadful crime.
I did not do it anytime.
I did not kill my former wife.
I did not do it with a knife.
Then F. Lee and I did not know what to say.
We were honest. We said, «You've got problems, OJ.
These problems, I'll call them Thing One and Thing Two.
Thing One is the blood at the scene. It's from you.
Thing Two is the Bronco Chase. Why did you run?
We'll have to get rid of Thing Two and Thing One. »
I did not bonk her on the head.
I did not know that she was dead.
When I found out I gave a sob.
Just ask my other lawyer, Bob.
I did not slash, I did not hit.
Okay, I hit a little bit.
But I did not kill my precious wife.
I would not, could not…with a knife.
But OJ, the chauffeur, he rang and he rang.
Then Kato heard thumps, he heard bumps and a bang.
Then Furman, Vanatter and Lange found a glove.
Things Three, Four and Five will need getting rid of.
I did not drop the bloody glove.
Oh God, I miss my turtle dove.
Too small! Too small! It does not fit!
It does not fit, you must acquit!
And sure enough! The jury bit.
«It does not fit, we must acquit.
We don't much care who did this crime
We've served a year. We've done our time.»