I don't remember the first time
But I think I survived
Probably better not to try to recall 'cause it feeds it, yeah it keeps it alive
[Verse 1:]
There are specific things
That I have to do
Day to day just to keep it at bay
You wouldn't believe if you knew
Oh no, this isn't real
Oh no, this isn't real
[Chorus:]
Here's a little secret
Here's the best part
This is going to take me
Right back to the start
If I can't hear it
If it's out of mind
Wait until it settles
Comes round a second time
I don't remember the first time
But I think I survived
Probably better not to try to recall 'cause it feeds it, yeah it keeps it alive
[Chorus:]
Here's a little secret
Here's the best part
This is going to take me
Right back to the start
If I can't hear it
If it's out of mind
Wait until it settles
Comes round a second time
[Verse 2:]
I can feel it loom
Up into my head
It is in the room
Panicking in bed
I feel it coming on
Taking over view
Oh please not tonight
There's nothing I can do
[Verse 3:]
This is bigger than me
This is in my fear
This is pitiful
I just disappear
Swells up all around me
Swallowed up inside
Sell my senses if
It would make this subside
[Verse 4:]
I can barely handle
I can pass the time
Staring through the curtains
Up into the sky
Where there is no
Depth perception
Keep preoccupied:
Self deception
Nobody recognizes
It doesn't have a name
My brother is infected; he's acting just the same
Screaming like a siren, up and down the hall
He just wants to stop it
He wants to end it all
[Verse 5:]
I am just a child
I have nothing more
Than the basic function I am running from
I curl up and wallow
My distortion
Everything is disproportion
[Verse 6:]
Suddenly I wake
All is back again
Everything is closer
Morning is the same
And I can't hear it
It's way out of mind
I will just forget this till the next time