Am I happy when I do so well in sports
Or get it on with a hot Cuban babe?
Do I still get a kick out of internet porn
When those guys know little of Estonia's fate?
The little Hindu who made this ball
Has no clue what Estonians have had to bear
How the Estonians have endured it all
And yet the world —
It just doesn’t care!
Oh when will the world wise up?
To be Estonian — it sucks!
We would gladly suffer more
If only the rest of the world would applaud!
But don’t despair, we call
We'll endure it all! Endure it all!
It aaaaaaaaaa-all!
The Holocaust was perhaps no breeze
The Rwandan genocide was probably a bore
An airplane nudged your house? Oh please
Surely Estonians have suffered more!
Mooooo-ooooree!
Check-it-check-it-check-it-check-it Check this PAIN!
The suffering of Estonians is a neverending story
As early as the Ice Age we had our miseries so gory
Our threshold of pain is as high as our hills
Good thing, too, or it’d be a real overkill
The Kaali meteorite really screwed us, oh man
Falling down here instead of Japan
Nothing could save us from our utter undoing
Our national hero lost his legs — just cool it!
Hundreds of years we were plundered by others,
Germans and Russians, Danes and Poles,
Swedes and Latgales and valiant Semigallians
Uuuuuuhhh, Semigalliaaaaans!
At first, the new millenium seemed pretty fine
But then they made us kill our Taara, the swines!
700 hundred years of nonstop serfdom followed this
Wars and plague and famine
And some hundred thousand stiffs!
Plague between the famines and famine between the plagues
Sometimes even famine for famine prepared the way
Pneumonic plague!
A round gazillion is the number of our woes
And I really cannot take more of Märt’s shrieking
I’ll jump stright to more recent times
But frankly, those also ain’t worth a dime
In 1816, our serfdom was gone
But the so-called freedom was really a con
Manor’s yoke, chaff bread and overseer’s smite
Will you just stop howling for a minute, alright?
This was the limit, or so it seemed
For the Estonians’ suffering would overflow the seas
The 20th century brought shitloads of gore
Vicious battles, foreign power, wars and more
Trips to Siberia and savage Soviet thumb
Rationing and lusting for Finnish chewing gum.
We've come to the present, I feel like crying!
!!!!!!!! but time is flying!
Our mortages and debts of Greece are far from small!
And Mena Suvari’s not Estonian after all?
We have no sun and anyway it wouldn’t shine!
Our misery is greater than the whole world combined!!!
Oh when will the world wise up?
To be Estonian — it sucks!
The chorus joins in here!
We would gladly suffer more
If only the rest of the world would applaud!
Toil, pain and woe!
But don’t despair, we call
We'll endure it all!
Endure it all!
It aaaaa-aaaaallll!
Oh when will the world wise up?
To be Estonian — it sucks!
We would gladly suffer more
If only the rest of the world would applaud!
Crappy movies are the norm
No hope for administrative reform!
The weather is cruddy
The Tori horse is muddy!
When will the world wise up?
To be Estonian — it sucks!
The weather is frosty!
The living is costly!
Our debt is the greatest debt ever!
Agricultural subsidies only 45 per cent of those for the rest of Europe
All others are laughing, the Frenchmen go like ohohohooo!
It sucks to be Estonian!
It really really sucks ass!
Why won't anyone RECOGNIZE?!
Well will endure it…
… all.