Let me tell you, sonny, let me tell you straight,
You kids today ain't never had it tough,
Always had everything handed to you on a silver plate,
You lazy brats think nothing's good enough.
Well, nobody ever drove me to school when it was ninety degrees below,
We had to walk butt naked through forty miles of snow,
Worked in the coal mines twenty two hours a day for just half a cent,
Had to sell me internal organs just to pay the rent.
When I was your age, when I was your age,
When I was your age, when I was your age.
Let me tell you something, you whiny little snot,
There's something wrong with all you kids today,
You just don't appreciate all the things you've got,
We were hungry, broken and miserable and we liked it fine that way.
There were seventy three of us living in a cardboard box,
All I got for Christmas was a lousy bag of rocks,
Every night for dinner we had a big 'ol chunk of dirt,
If we were really good, we didn't get dessert.
When I was your age, when I was your age,
When I was your age, when I was your age.
Didn't have no telephone, didn't have no fax machine,
All we had was a couple cans and a crummy piece of string,
Didn't have no swimming pool when I was just a lad,
Our neighbor's septic tank was the closest thing we had.
Didn't have no dental floss, had to use old rusty nails,
Didn't have Nintendo, we just poured salt on snails,
Didn't have no water bed, had to sleep on broken glass,
Didn't have no lawnmower, we used our teeth to cut the grass.
What's the matter now, sonny, you say you don't believe this junk?
You think my story's wearing kinda thin?
I tell you one thing, I never was such a disrespectful punk,
Back in my time, we had a thing called discipline.
Dad would whoop us every night till a quarter after twelve,
Then he'd get too tired and he'd make us whoop ourselves,
Then he'd chop me into pieces and play Frisbee with my brain,
And let me tell ya, junior, you never heard me complain.
When I was your age, when I was your age,
When I was your age, when I was your age.