Ahhh, yes.
Whassup Deej.
Welcome to LA bro, oh my god, how are ya?
Oh my god, I feel so good. I just moved in and everything,
You guys wanna get some girls tonight or what?
Girr… Wha… Dude… You don't think you are getting laid do you? He thinks he getting laid.
I dont know, maybe, I'm new in town. What's?
Dude listen, the weather's amazing and like, the rent's cheap, but no ones having sex in LA,
Especially when you look like this,
Have you seen yourself? You're not in Murray Hill anymore, bro.
You lived here for 6 years.
Have not had sex one time.
I've had sex one time!
No you haven't.
Yes I have. Remember when I told a b***h I was Chris Brown?
Guys, it's the second biggest city in the country, you're clearly lying!
Nope.
Hey you, yes it true, we will make your balls blue
We're the women of LA
We ignore cause you're poor, and you're not Pauly Shore
We're the women of LA
From Westwood to Brentwood
never would touch your wood
We're the women of LA
All the dudes at Whole Foods
stare at my new fake boobs
We're the women of LA
Oh this is a story all about how
I move to Hollywood and get shot down
By girls so hot that you can't kiss
When your face looks like Andy Dick
And all the bars close at 1:30
Which means they're way to sober to sleep with me
Cause my only credit on IMDb
Is an extra on Community
So we drive around from James Beach to St. Nicks
But end up at Canters empty handed and pissed
It's like here I go, here I go, here I go again
Boys what's my weakness? LA women!
Always looking around the room
For the bigger better deal
Now I gotta watch Mr. Belding cop a feel
We breathe coke, you're a joke cause you're broke
We're the women of LA
'Till you're paid like Nic Cage, go get laid at Rage
We're the women of LA
It's our job to look think we work at Runyon
We're the women of LA
This is top shelf pussy, you should try the valley
We're the women of LA
Oh you West Hollywood girls from the east coast
Having Sunday fundays brunching at Toast
With your lulu lemon pants you all look the same
Asking where I’m repped
before asking my name
CAA, ICM, UTA which one?
Well it's a small agency off the 101
Gross, I'm an assistant at WME
Who pays your rent? Let me guess your daddy
And where my Persian girls at from the Beverly
So much perfume and so hairy
Good to see from afar, but as pretty as farsi
I'll give you another Beamer if you just touch me
And all you hipster girls from silver lake
You're nobodies fool
You've been turning me down even before it was cool
It's times like this it's New York girls that I miss
I'll never get rid of my 516
One day you will see, (You'll see. Oh, you'll see.)
I'll blow Ryan Murphy, (Blow him. I'll really, really blow him.)
Then join the cast of Glee, (Good show. Very good show.)
Then you'll go (Then you'll go.) to SOHO house with me.
Until then I'll never be a douche in a fedora (What?)
I'll lie to them and tell them I don't live on Ventura (Come on.)
And if you still don't understand dating in California (Shiiit.)
DJ’ll break it down for ya
525,600 women have rejected me in LA county
525,600 dollars is what you need to get pussy
They don't drink on dates they're afraid of DUI's
One wine's not enough to get between the thighs
The cougars to Venice, to the gals of Los Feliz
All join together and deny sex to DJ
No one will fuck, fuck me
From santa monica
No one will fuck, fuck me
And Culver City too
No one will fuck, fuck me
Just give them a handjob yeah
We are the women of LA
We are the women of LA
We are the women of LA
We are the women of LA
So what do I do?
I don't know. Move back to New York?
It's probably your best bet.
I've heard Baltimore is nice.