Yell help,
Too many cooks and a bird in the bush,
Yell help,
Yell help,
If your mirror busts and your cat gets cussed,
Yell help,
`Cause down the road you find someone else who's lookin’,
Down the road you find another sweet lady cookin’
So I gotta yell help
Yell help,
Some shelter from the storm like the travel agent warned
Yell help,
If you can help, your superstitions they gonna keep you warm
`Cause down the road you find someone else who's lookin’,
Down the road you seen another sweet lady cookin’
So I gotta yell help
I wish tonight wasn't Wednesday night,
I wish it wasn't the thirteenth of July
And you're looking at the guy whose eyes can't deny
That he wishes he were somewhere else tonight
Well, I met this woman down in New Orleans.
Lord, she built just like a dream
Even wore stockings that had seams,
And she was ugly
Now hell, I don't mind
Women of her kind
I'll even pay sometimes for a woman that's ugly
She built like a steamroller,
Just the kind to mow you over, anytime
Hey, the moment might arrive
On Bourbon Street
Well the ugliest woman you'll ever meet,
But she's mine my my mine and she's ugly
So I better yell help