I was a recluse; she was an extrovert.
I was the jealous type; she was an awful flirt.
She was an artist; I was a critc.
She was Hasidic; I was antisemitic.
You wouldn't think our future looked that bright.
You wouldn't think it… And you'd be right.
It was a hopeless nightmare from the git.
Whatever I was, she was the opposite.
I don't know why she picked me.
I don't know why I fell.
I only know that this match.
It was a mismatch made in hell.
I was a masochist; and she was, too.
We'd be all dressed up, no one to turn the screw.
I was a Virgo; she was a Leo.
I was a retro; she was a neo.
I was a tightwad; she was a spending spree.
I was a leg man; she was an amputee.
As anyone with half a brain could tell,
This bowl of jello you wasn't gonna jell.
Fiasco met disaster.
Catastrophe befell.
There's no explaining this match.
It was a mismatch made in hell.
Her body rippled; mine was a little plump.
Her was a temple; mine was a toxic dump.
She was a thinker; I was a drinker.
She was a hiker; I was a biker,
She was a touchie-feelie birkenstock.
I was a cold and steely slab of rock.
They always say that opposites attract.
They always say it. That's cause it's a fact.
And we're still chained together.
Two prisoners in one cell.
There's no escape from this match.
No escape from this match.
No escape from this match…
We're in a mismatch made in hell.