Long white Limousine pulls up to the church,
A sick part of me wishes it was a hearse.
I didn't get an invitation but I'm here anyway,
And I don't care if I'm crashing their big day.
Well, it might not be too Christian of me,
And it might not be too nice,
But I wish we were all just standing around,
Throwing rocks instead of rice.
Long white dress, this must be some kinda joke,
Virgin, please she
Ain't fooling these folks.
If the three of us were on Jerry Springer*
I'd be pulling her hair,
And I'd kick that lying sack of should've known better,
In the you know where.
Well, it might not be too Christian of me,
And it might not be too nice,
But I wish we were all just standing around,
Throwing rocks instead of rice.
Well, the vows that they just made sounded sweet and sincere,
Place your bets, my money's on less than a year.
Well, it might not be too Christian of me,
And it might not be too nice,
But I wish we were all just standing around,
Throwing rocks instead of rice.
Yeah, I wish we were all just standing around,
Throwing rocks instead of rice.