Once upon a time, in the black part of the city…
— Yo, G, yo, G, you better get outta here, man, 5-0!
— Yo, Ice Cube, man!
— Whassup, man?
— Why you…
— Whassup?
— Yo, Ice Cube, man, why you always kickin' the shit about the bitches and the niggas? Why don't you kick some shit about the kids, man, the fuckin' kids?!
— Word.
[Verse 1: Ice Cube]
Little boys and girls, they all love me,
Come sit on the lap of I-C-E,
And let me tell ya a story or two
About a punk ass nigga I knew.
Named Jack, he wasn't that nimble, wasn't that quick,
Jumped over the candlestick and burnt his dick,
Ran up the street ‘cause he was pipin' hot.
Met a bitch named Jill on the bus stop,
Dropped a line or two, and he had the ho,
At that type of shit he's a pro,
So Jack and Jill ran up the hill to catch a little nap,
Dumb bitch, gave him the claps.
Then he had to go see Dr. Bombay,
Got a shot in the ass, and he was on his way
To make some money, why not?
Down on Sesame Street, the dope spot,
There he saw the lady, who lived in a shoe,
Sold dope out the front, but in back marijuana grew
For the man that was really important,
Who lived down the street in a Air Jordan.
Ride to the fellow Mister Rogers and hoes,
Drove a 500 sittin' on Lorenzoes,
He broke out, Little Bo Peep, smoked out,
Saw her and her friends sellin' sheepskins.
— Yo, yo! I got them sheepskins Yo, my empty sheepskins! Yo, baby, what's up with that?
Hickory, dickory, dock, it was twelve o'clock,
Cinderella ain't home, must be givin' up the cock,
I don't doubt it, she is kinda freaky, of course,
Had a fight with Snow White, she was fuckin' her dwarfs.
Saw a fight over colors, too,
Red Riding Hood, and Little Boy Blue.
A bad influence? Yo. I don't know.
But Ice Cube'll tell the kids how the story should go.
— Yeah, money, that's it, yeah, money, that's it! This is Little Russ in the house. Rock that shit homie, rock that shit!
Well, you know the rest.
[Verse 2: Ice Cube]
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
With a joint drinkin' some 8 ball,
Three little pigs in a Coup de Ville
Lookin' for the wolf to kill,
They're fucked up and they want revenge,
Them and Humpty used to be friends,
Now they're enemies ‘cause he's a traitor,
Pulled out the Uzi, cruised by and sprayed him.
Cinderella hoein' for the fellas,
And Mister Rogers is getting' mighty jealous
Of the cash that the pigs were makin',
Time for the pigs to get turned to bacon,
‘Cause Mister Rogers found out quick
That Humpty Dumpty was blown to bits.
They said that the mothafuckin wolf was next,
So Mister Rogers better watch his step,
So he let the wolf know,
“We're gonna fuck up the pigs, and take their ho,
‘Cause Cinderella is much too fast –
Before twelve givin' up ass!”
Double barrels all loaded and cocked,
As soon as they show, they gonna get popped,
They bailed down Sesame Street and caught ‘em,
Little Boy Blue is up front givin' orders.
Little did they know Cinderella was a fink,
She called the cops and got thrown in the clink.
A bad influence? Yo, I don't know,
But Ice Cube'll tell the kids how the stories should go.
— Ayo, man, was that dope enough for you?
— Yeah, you aight, you in the house. We outta here, see ya!
— Yeah, you better go home ‘fore I whoop your little bad ass.
Some bedtime story huh?
It's a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't wanna live here.
Ay, good ol' Mother Goose, remember her? I fucked her.