I still haven't found a girlfriend, though I've tried a lot
So can you help me please, it's tougher that I thought
The odds are pretty good
But the goods are pretty odd
Though at this point I'd take anything you've got
You see this all the time, nice girls in love with jerks
What could they be thinking? Tell me how it works
If I've got some problems
Well, I wouldn't be the first
But the ones I have in mind are even worse
And even Hitler had a girlfriend
That he could always call
Who'd always be there for him
Despite of all his faults
He was the worst guy ever,
Vile and despised
Even Hitler had a girlfriend
So why can't I? Why can't I?
Life is full of contradictions hard to understand
And for every happy woman
There's a lonely man
Nixon had his puppy
Charles Manson had his clan
But God forbid that I get a girlfriend
Even Hitler had a girlfriend
That he could call his own
To sweeten the days of bitterness
And feeling all alone
I'm not as bad as Hitler,
But it doesn't mean a thing
Since they'd rather be with Hitler more than me,
I don't see
Why they'd rather be with Hitler more that me