Laying on my couch watching TV
eating Hot Pockets for days
Talking to my dog like she’s human
and can understand me
I’m on Twitter all night long
trying to get celebrities to follow me
Taking pics for Instagram
and photoshoping the shit out of me
(I don’t even look human, perfect)
It’s Friday night and I’m home alone
Constantly looking at my phone
Waiting for a text from one of my friend
but no one ever sends
Cause I don’t have a life
I just stay home,
have Twerk battles all alone
Sometimes I even hump my bed
(Say my name, Say my name)
Cause I don’t have a life
Or any friends, except the one’s I created on The Sims
Cause I don’t have a life
(No you don’t, No you don’t)
I want 5 pepperoni pizzas with extra cheese
Oh, no I am not having a party, it’s only me
Hey I don’t have a life or any friends
Can you put on this wig
and just pretend to be my girlfriend
(Taser gun, Taser gun)
I go on line all night and laugh at pics
of animals or Nick Jonas’ nips
(They’re so fuckin big)
(Pepperoni nips)
Refresh my replies.
I talk to Cleverbot all night
Cause I don’t have a fuckin life.