I married a woman
Who talks like Jerry Reed
God just didn't bless her
With the vocal chords she needs
She looks like Cindy Crawford,
But that ain't the way she sounds
When we make love,
I keep hearin' «East Bound And Down»
I work sixty hours a week,
And I bring home my check
She says,
«Son you're gonna have to take me out
And put some groceries down my neck»
So I took her to a fancy restaraunt —
She looked down her nose and said
«Why didn't we stop at a choke and puke,
For some grilled cheese sandwiches»
I married a woman
Who talks like Jerry Reed
Oughta be on the cover of Playboy,
'Cause that body's garaunteed
She talks just like that guitar man,
That crawled out of the swamp
That Lousiana law gonna save you,
When I knock ya in the head with a stump
She thinks my name is Amos,
When she ain't callin' me son
«Amos, son, I'm under stress.
Let's go somewhere that's fun»
So I flew her to Europe
And spent ten-thousand bucks
She said, «I'd have had more fun
Thumbin' a ride on a overloaded
Poultry truck»
I married a woman
Who talks like 'you know who'
Got a brand new pair of earplugs,
Stuck in with Elmer's glue
Bought all the lamps that K-Mart had,
'Cause there's one thing I don't need
Is to be in the dark with a woman
Who sounds just like Jerry Reed
It's hard to be romantic,
When she whispers in my ear
«You got a long way to go,
And a short time to get here»
She talks like that trucker,
Whether I like it or not
«We're loaded up and truckin',
And when you're hot — you hot»