Hey, do you remember me?
I used to date you
I make music now, with this weird dude
Let’s bang
Okay
I, forgot how good having sex with you was
On this mattress we stole from your roommate
Last night was amazing
When I’m with you I feel like I’m not aging
Yeah I feel the same
Let’s get back together so we’ll never age yeah
Let’s make a song about that
Can you sing?
Why yes, I can
Why don’t we call it Closer
And make it about that Rover
That you never could afford
Cause you’re poor
Hey don’t be a jerk
Also let’s add a dumb lyric
Bout that mattress that we stole
It has a really bad odor
We puked on in back in Boulder
Number 1 it’s our song Closer
Famous singers don’t get older
Hey
Our song has been #1 for 10 years
And we still haven’t aged a day, weird
This is so great
Yes
We still look young our lyrics came true
Even though we chain smoke and drink booze everyday
It’s 2046
We ain’t gettin’ older but you look like shit
Dicks
Now our old friends
Are growing bald and gray and getting saggy tits
But we still both look super hot
And still have a huge hit song
Enough of this delusion
Based on lyrics in our music
You’ve been brainwashed by our song
He’s right I am here to prove it
Take these meds they’ll make you lucid
They’re anti-delusional
You have both been getting older
This dream world of yours is over
But this can’t be our song Closer, said we’re never getting older
I’m here to repo your Rover
You can’t afford it
I told her
Hand’s up dirtbags don’t come closer
Is that your mattress from Boulder?
Yes it is I am the owner
You jerks stole it
We weren’t sober!
You’re going to jail forever
By the way you all have lung cancer