[Taylor:]
Once upon a time, before I was insane.
I dated this Disney guy, Joe Jonas was his name.
But he broke up with me,
[Joe:]
You're just way too creepy,
plus I found someone else, his name's Mickey. (HO HO)
[Taylor:]
So, I wrote a song about his stupid ass.
Then, found this guy named John,
but that was over fast.
If you don't marry me, I will pull out your teeth!
[John:]
You're totally crazy.
[Taylor:]
No!
[John:]
Yes!
[Taylor:]
No!
[John:]
Yes!
[Taylor:]
Maybe…
He hit me with his guitar, and he said that «we are through.»
Just you wait, until I write a song about you!
Then, I met that Jake Gyllenhal dick,
and was obsessed right away!
[Jake:]
You've sent me 1,000 messages!
and that's just from today!!
[Taylor:]
Oh, that's because I'm having your baby!
[Jake:]
What?! But, you don't even put out
[Taylor:]
Stop questioning me, Jakey,
or I'll punch you 6 feet underground!!!!!!
[Jake:]
Psycho, psycho, psycho!
[Taylor:]
Fine, go! It's good material
Next came Kennedy, I think he was fifteen.
I bought the house next door,
to watch you constantly, and also to make sure.. You never ever cheat!
[Connor:]
OMG! We are done, you are scary!
[Taylor:]
Harry was my last, that One Direction freak.
I taped him to my wall, so he could never leave.
[Harry:]
Someone call the police!
You're insane we are through!
[Taylor:]
You're just like all the rest!
What did I do to you?!
So I used, my stalker app.
To track down, all of those pricks.
The next song I write I'll use, their blood as my ink! Hey!
[Jake:]
Holy crap, that nut job just bursted in!
[Taylor:]
What the hell is this?
[Ex-Boyfriends:]
It's a support group for all the men.
You wrote songs about, you bitch!
[Taylor:]
What? I have not written about Harry yet.
[Harry:]
I am just planning ahead.
[John:]
Why are you even here anyway?
[Taylor:]
To finish you all off with my pen!
[Ex-Boyfriends:]
No, no, devil, devil, devil.
[Taylor:]
It's true, I'm the devil!
[Doctor:]
OK! that's enough.
You were right, she's nuts.
You are coming with us.
[Taylor:]
Wait, what?
Get off of me, I'm not crazy!!
[Ex-Boyfriends:]
It worked!
This was all a trick, we knew you would come.
So, we hired this doctor.
[Doctor:]
You're going to an insane asylum,
based on the behavior I observed.
[Taylor:]
Let me go, you assholes!
[Assholes:]
No! No!
[Doctor:]
Welcome to your new home.
[Mickey:]
Haha, so you're crazy too, huh?