We’re in a nice family restaurant
Somebody’s grandma’s choking
On a lamb chop
There’s panic in the air
As Nana’s face turns blue
The busboy screams in Spanish
«What the fuck do we do?»
We need a hero
Who’s gonna do it
We need a hero
To clean out her windpipe
We need a hero
Who’s down with Heimlich
We need a hero
To save the day, yeah
So I slap my napkin down on the table
And I get a fucking standing ovation
Another guy gets up
And says he’s a doctor
I say «Sit the fuck down
I got this shit»
Then I wrap my arms
Around Grandma’s chest
And I look her grandkids
Deep in the eyes
Then right away
Then right away I break all her ribs
Because I don’t know what I’m doing
Grandma!